Article
BKB's Mailbag Vol.4
Arsalan Ahmed

By: Arsalan Ahmed

This site does not necessarily agree with any of the comments made in or around the following article, but we might, unless we don't, in which case we definitely don't.

Future articles will consist of YOUR questions and comments. If you wish to ask BKB a question, just drop an email to askbkb@gmail.com and it will be considered for the next installment. If you don't want your real name used, simply include a pen name. No email addresses will be made public.

All of BKB's responses will appear unedited and as he intended. So without further ado ... BKB!

Name: James

Q. BKB, I hated Superman Returns like yourself. How do you feel about the possible sequel?

BKB. How do I feel about a SUPERMAN RETURNS SEQUEL??I don't feel much in the sense that I don't give a shi* one way or another whether it's made or not.. SUPERMAN FORGOTTEN is further proof that WARNER BROS is the death of DC Comic Adaptations and always will be.. At this point, I have much more hope for FANTASTIC FOUR AND THEIR BUDDY THE SILVER SURFER along with SPIDERMAN III than I do for anything that's SUPERMAN Related cause in the end, MARVEL Adaptations wipe the floor with DC Comicbook movie's.... Bottom line is this movie never should've been made and DOMESTIC Box office is a further testament to this.. Piss on this!!

Name: James

Q. What do you think of the current D-Generation X on WWE RAW?

BKB. Personally, I feel DX on RAW is nothing more than a Pathetic Rehash of the 90's when this retread formation of the NWO from WCW sort of made sense.. Back then, it was more of a rebellious type of thing and now, it's been reduced to being nothing more than a NICKELODEON Version of DX.. How can someone who's supposedly a Born Again Christian like HBK and a now married husband/father to Vince's little girl like HHH hold any weight or cause for bringing this group back except for cheesy nostalgia and only with 2 members??? It doesn't and the bottom line is the WWE Creative Team have gone sour with the script writing..

Name: Steve the Florist

Q. I'm having some girl troubles. There's this girl I've been seeing for about a year, but we never talk. I see her through her bedroom window, in class from the back row, and sometimes at the grocery store when I'm pretending to be a blind mentally retarded worker in the frozen food aisle. How can I get her to open up and help me get in touch with her personality? I feel like she's holding something in and won't tell me about it.

BKB. Steve, you say you've been seeing this girl for about a year, yet you never talk to her.. How's that possible to maintain a relationship with a girl you never talk to?? I'm sure there are some guy's out there who'd love to know this secret so they don't have to put up with 90% of the bullshi* that goes with a relationship with a girl or even a woman that includes those time of the month PMS moments that have a tendency to make one want to hang themselves if your a guy?? As far as the answer to your perplexing question as to how to get this bitch* to open up to you so you can see her blossoming personality?? TALK TO HER.. Strike up a conversation and don't be shy.. Women don't like shy, timid guy's, but guy's who are bold and get right to the point and a big shlong is also a plus.. The worst she could say is "No, get away from me LOSER" and if that's the case, then move on to the next chick.. God knows there a millions of Bitche* out there who need some loving..

Name: Jim D

Q. Who would win in a fight between the Riddler and the Joker?

BKB. Really, I have no idea who'd win between The RIDDLER and The JOKER in a fight.. If I had to take a stab at this though?? I'd say probably The JOKER since my memory of him in the graphic novels is substantially more violent than The RIDDLER.. I have horrible memories of The RIDDLER from when Jim Carrey played him in yet, another lame BATMAN movie in the form of BATMAN FOREVER which is also now FORGOTTEN.. Did I happen to mention that WB Sucks when it comes to DC movie adaptations?? I Thought so..

Name: Cindy McMindy

Q. How long does a ride on the bkb last?

BKB. How long does a ride last on the BKB EXPRESS?? Depends on how horny the woman is that I'm with.. Debra(Who's my Mistress) loves to Fuc* and so do I.. Were in good shape physically and it's a way to burn off calories all in the same breath and afterwards?? We eat CHIPOTLE!! YEAH!!! WOO HOO!!!

Name: Anonymous

Q. Which horror franchises do you think they should scrap?

BKB. Which Horror movie franchises should they scrap?? The GRUDGE, which is a Grudge to stand in line for this shi* and waste hard earned $$$ on.. I suppose you should throw in TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE since Hollywood is hell bent on making sure we all know how Leatherface got to the point in which he did.. Do we really need to know how Leatherface became Leatherface??? And while I'm thinking about it, throw in BLACK CHRISTMAS which Hollywood once again insists on making sure we know how "Billy" became Billy and why??? That was the whole Mystique of the original BLACK CHRISTMAS was the whole POV Shot from the Killer's eyes along with the Obscene Phone calls and never knowing who the killer really was, all of which seem absent from the remake coming out this Christmas according to the PLANT Reviews up at AICN right now which have roots growing from them..

Name: Anonymous

Q. How would the fight between Hulk Hogan and the mighty bkb end?

BKB. How would a Match between the Immortal HULK HOGAN and Myself end??? With me shaking the dude's hand after he kicked my ass cause whether "ATTITUDE ERA" Fanboys want to admit it or not, HOGAN'S Still pretty damn big for a guy who's 53 Years Old.. How many 53 Year Old Men do you see the size of HOGAN??? I'm fairly certain that the script would have me doing the Job to him and really, it would be an HONOR since he is the Icon.. I look forward to him beating the BIG SLOB for the ECW Belt at WM 23 or kicking AUSTIN'S whiny ass for 1 last "HURRAH"..

Name: Jermone Strongman

Q. If you were Luke Skywalker, had the hots for Leia and had kissed her, what would you do when you find out that she is your sister?

BKB. What would I do if I were Luke Skywalker and I kissed the Princess only to find out later she was my sister?? Nothing.. Absolutely nothing cause I would've had no idea at the time and neither did Mark Hamill until Lucas threw that angle in at the last minute for whatever God give reason he did that.. It was dumb George.. DUMB!!

Stay tuned for more BKB next month, and as always, send in your questions to askbkb@gmail.com!